Arfeen Khan’s Personality Scan -Through an argument-
“We are all very opinionated. Right now you are listening to me and making opinions about what I’m saying”.
I was a bit startled as I heard Arfeen say it. Because this was exactly what I was doing for the past one hour listening to him for the first time. I couldn’t help it ! I had invested time and money to learn from him. Now it was time to open the parcel and see what I got.
Arfeen was in the middle of presenting his theory to the audience when he asked:
“Anyone disagrees with me? Anyone here? I want you to fight if you want to.”
He said it as casually as offering a cake.
Just the possibility of a “conflict” created anxiety in me. Disagreements always made me uncomfortable.
To my dismay, a man from the audience raised his hand.
“ I don’t agree with you” The man clearly stated.
The conversation went on for 15 minutes.
Yes! That’s what it was. A conversation.Not a conflict.
No contempt. No irritation. No smirks.
I was surprised when Arfeen encouraged him to share his thoughts further when the man wanted to stop midway. Arfeen assured him that this is a very healthy thing to do. Arfeen did not get defensive. He was open to the idea that the other man could also be correct, still putting his own point of view forward logically and beautifully.
I loved the idea of learning from such a teacher where I would be allowed to have an identity of my own without being put in a box. I wanted to learn from him because knowledge was not what I was looking for. Knowledge sells for pennies nowadays. I was looking for wisdom. And I saw it in Arfeen.
Your actions are always in synchrony with your beliefs. There is no way Arfeen could have treated the man this way unless he was open-minded enough to encourage independent thinking, secure enough in his own knowledge to embrace a disagreement with open arms, well mannered enough to get to the end of a disagreement without ruining relationship.
And this obviously is just my opinion and you can disagree with me and it wouldn’t make me anxious today because I have been trained to think differently through Arfeen’s program CTF “Coach to a Fortune” :)
It’s been exactly one year since I’ve joined CTF. He has visited us several times in Dubai during this time. I have learnt so much just by observing him. He is not shy of being judged by people. This is what he inspires his students to be. It’s alright to be yourself without worrying too much about what people will think about you. Not everyone will like you and that’s totally fine too. It’s OK to NOT be nice all the time. It’s totally cool to say “NO” to people.You cannot please everyone all the time. It’s alright to have disagreements.
He will encourage you, push you, challenge you, until he brings out the best in you. Today I am a braver person than I was last year, more confident in expressing my point of view. It has literally liberated me from the slavery of people and set me free :)
Still learning every day, working on myself to become a “Truth Coach” like Arfeen likes to call himself. It needs a lot of courage and hard work but I have all the support from Team Arfeen Khan. It’s truly a pleasure being part of such an amazing community.
P.S : I had always wanted to blog but somehow kept delaying. Finally I’m starting today and the credit goes to Team Arfeen again :)